Blogger for LYFE

I would write about the Superbowl, but the only thing worth mentioning is that the Steelers lost. The only reason I’m happy the Steelers loss is because my obnoxious teammate is obsessed with them. Her post game status read:

As da time ticks down till i cant talk bout my team4a yr :( I want2say2all da bandwagon fans n haterz PLEASE SHUT UP yaw team was sitting@home while mine was playing 2nite No we didnt win but we made it further den yaw so unless u r a TRUE packers fan u have no need2talk Quit hatin on us n focus on ur team cuz hatin on us dont make yaw no betta DAT WILL B ALL DUECES HATERZ

I had four thoughts regarding her status.

1.      It probably took her longer to write this in Ignorant than it would have to write in English.

2.      The Steelers loss BECAUSE God knew she would write this status.

3.      What the hell is a “Yaw”

4.      Redskins for LYFE.

Side Note- My team has this recent sick obsession with accentuating statements with LYFE at the end. Yes, I realize life is not spelled with a Y, but the Y adds zest. Such as “Sisters for LYFE” or “Rock on for LYFE.”

Anyways, because I have nothing of interest to share, I will tell you all about a little Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-2 story. I found it humorous...

Writing “Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-2” gets tiring, so I’m going to shorten her name. Let’s go with Asshole. So Asshole is on the foul line during Saturday’s game against Concord University (let me remind you again that we won). Asshole tugs on Holly Bibb’s jersey. Bibb is NOT on our team; she plays for Concord University and since my freshman year this kid has dropped a couple crucial threes on us each game. So Asshole tugs on Bibb’s jersey and says “Hey, watch out, she throws bows, we get them in practice all the time.”

Asshole was referring to our post player Monster. I have spoken about Monster in a past blog, but I’ll reiterate her 6’6 status. She’s bad ass and big. You do NOT want to get boxed out by this chick.

End. Of. Story.

This afternoon, Asshole received a Facebook friend request from yes, HOLLY BIBB. Attached to request was a little note… “Hey girl, thanks for looking out.”

 Friends for LYFE!

Anyways, little baby just showed up to cook up her famous Macaroni. She was supposed to be here at 9 –I was getting worried she was standing me up, but then I remembered Little Babies don’t lie.