So Dick being the gentleman that he is, decided to take a picture of Goofy's bra… and then post it on Facebook:
The caption stated: “How many basketballs can you fit in Goofy's bra? Answer= 1! Are you missing something tits magee?
God he’s such a charmer.
Anyways, what I found most amusing about this degrading picture is not the tremendous bra size at all. This picture is the perfect representation of our house. Take a closer look as I explain…
1. See that movie? For those of you who are clueless to the world of assholes, “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” is a book made into a movie about a college student’s repulsive lifestyle. I love it. This movie is so significant to this picture because we like to refer to Dick as THAT guy: the repulsive asshole. The only difference between him and Tucker Maxx (the author) is that Dick has prolonged his repulsive college experiences by managing to stay 6 years past the average kid. Best part is he’s got a few years left. Yes, this is beneficial to me and my blogging, but not at all beneficial to the poor ignorant girls he so easily reels in. Idiots.
2. If you take a close look at the table, actually just a look at the table, it’s obvious it needs cleaning. It’s stained with eggs and alcohol from God knows how long ago. This is my part of the picture. I eat eggs and a bagel every single morning for breakfast and my roommates always find it necessary to complain of the crumbs I drop everywhere. They are barely noticeable!
3. In the bottom right, it isn’t too clear, but that is an electronic Catch Phrase. Yes, we have family bonding time and yes, I despise these moments.
4. Beside the Electronic Catch Phrase, there is a coffee mug. Probably there from whoever was too lazy to carry it to the dish washer. Coffee is God’s gift to earth. It is the perfect hangover relief or the key to small spark of life in an early morning. I prefer to drink coffee as a cleansing; a way to sip away my mistakes.
5. The two candles to the left of the table are often put to use. Red finds herself home alone often and when this occurs she replaces human company with the aroma of candles and our fake fire place. She once posted a picture on my Facebook of the fire place lit and a caption stating “come home soon.” I sometimes think she is desperate, but I’ve come to understand she’s just weird.
6. The channel changer in the middle (Yes it’s called a channel changer and NO I don’t want to argue about whether it’s a remote or clicker or whatever), holds the key to the DVD player. I don’t like movies, I think reality is far more interesting than make believe, BUT my roommates do. They spend their nights crippling their brains with Will Ferrell’s annoying jokes and dirty humor that belongs in the garbage. Gosh, my mother must have raised me well. FUCK comedies.
7. That leaves the plastic cup and chapstick. I’ll blame the cup on the PE Teacher for the simple fact that she never eats at home. When she does, she manages to get someone to cook for her. Lazy bitch. I also leave it to her to drink out of a to go cup for mysterious reasons. God knows what’s in there… She’s always a bit too spunky.
8. The chapstick wraps 420 up nicely. It’s been sitting there for a week or two and I’ve personally seen all four of us take our fair share at it. Ironically, we speak of three topics in our house: Sex, STD’s and cleaning. I too find these topics inappropriate, but I suppose that’s what I get for living with two nursing majors. I do know that passing around chapstick can’t be good for prevention of STD’s… dirty.
9. Before I conclude, I have almost forgotten the most brilliant part of this picture. The Toshiba computer to the right is mine. That’s where I sit and gossip about ridiculous and embarrassing topics on a daily basis. Blogger for Lyfe.
Advice: Do not enter 420 for fear of being put in the “Thunderdome” or worry of being blogged about. Thank you for your huge inspiration Goofy.
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