15 Minutes

First 15 Minutes of Practice

Background: I cracked my foot a bit more a few days ago in practice, so prior to warming up I have a slight prayer session with the Jewish God and then I attempt to run. Most of the time my body moves. Last few days … Ehhh, not really working.

As I left the locker room this afternoon I said, “I’m gonna go try to run now… wish me luck.”

S.I.L.E.N.C.E

I listened in through the cracked door and overheard Beaver say “Don’t everyone start wishing at once.”

So I decided to reenter obnoxiously, call them all assholes and once again exit.

Side note: My running was more like a pimp jog. I decided that would suffice for today.

We began stretching.

Red begins every stretch with a song or two. Today she chose Christmas Carols.

Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-2 avoids stretching (she’s so cool), so as we did plyometrics, she made out with an apple. I called her a fat ass and shoved her against the wall.

Side Note: Her coolness was shown when she received FOUR friend requests from Concord University. Remember the whole Holly Bibb Friend request blog? Yeah, her request was followed by three lesbian requests. I assume they figured she was a homo. (She totally has that homo swagger) HAHA…

P.S. To the world’s surprise, she dates a ginger- causing us to wonder if she’d be better off with a chick.

Miss Spider Man (another Senior Captain) took practice off because 17 of her body parts are broken, sprained, or missing. So as we stretched and she cried, she comforted herself with Doritos. I also called her a fat ass, but avoided shoving her in to a wall based on the possibility of her body disassembling.

God bless our team.

First 15 Minutes Post-Practice

We have the greatest group of fans. We headed to the skybox for film and…SURPRISE! Our fans had cookies, brownies, fudge, fruit and veggies awaiting our attack. We apparently “brighten their day, every time we play,” so they wanted to show their appreciation.

SO CUTE.

Anyways, among our mingling, one of our fans asked if Little Baby and I were sisters. I answered “No Miss Fan, I’m not Mexican.”  Little Baby later asked if she could start calling me sissy. I told her I’d consider it if she converted to Judaism.

I then proceeded to stuff four pieces of fudge down my throat to avoid any more conversations.

(I took two trays of leftovers home with me.)

P.S. Huge game tomorrow against West Virginia Wesleyan. I’m currently preparing for an amazing Facebook status.

Contact me if you have any ideas.