You Don't Even Go Here

I tried to set up a PayPal account tonight so that I could sell the So College shirts online, but then I got carried away.

Red’s over here sticking needles in fake skin. She claims it’s her nursing homework, but I really just think she’s a sick fuck.

She kept putting saline bubbles into the fake skin, so I proceeded to pop them. Then my ADD kicked in…

I think I’ll try tomorrow.

Story of the day:

You-Don’t-Even-Go-Here-2 was visiting… again. She just came over to say bye (finally) and tell us a story. I’m going to call her Cunt from here on out because Cunt is the opposite of Dick- You’ll understand soon.

Cunt is staying in the on-campus apartments with Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-1 and 2. During her boring afternoon on their living room couch awaiting their arrival home from classes, she heard a random knock.

Assuming it was one of her friends, she screamed, “Come on in!” in a sexually, seducing voice.

In walks the R.A. for a random room check.

“Welcome to my humble abode!”

The R.A. approached Cunt and asked for her Rambler (University ID).

Cunt did the Macarena, grabbing herself obnoxiously in search of a Rambler she knew she would not find.

“Ahh… I must have left it in my room.”

The R.A. asked her for a signature for proof of the room check.

“I can do that.”

See, Cunt is one of a kind- very quick witted, very entertaining, good sense of asshole.

She reached for the R.A’s pen and quickly began signing her new identity: Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-2.

After spending a minute or two on the bubble letter signature, she dotted the “I’s” with hearts and said “let me show you around.”

Cunt offered M-A-W-B-V-2’s snacks to the R.A as they went from room to room discussing the status of the apartment.

Every room passed with flying colors until it was time for Cunt’s room… I mean Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-2’s room.

The R.A. approached the last room and yelled, “Do you have the key to this room?”

Cunt- Nope, but no one is in there don’t worry it’s clean.

R.A- Whose room is it?

Cunt- Umm… mine.

R.A- Oh, well I’ll open it… you can get your key.

The R.A opened the door with the master key, but stood in disbelief at the piles and piles of dirty laundry hiding the room.

Cunt- I’m a hoarder… umm… I can’t get rid of anything.

R.A- I see…

Cunt- I haven’t done laundry in weeks

R.A- I see…You have a lot of shoes

Cunt- Yeah, I gotta look fresh in my sweet kicks.

After a weird look, Cunt followed up with another dumbass remark.

Cunt- Actually, I’m really having a hard time finding a roommate for next year

R.A- oh no… who is your roommate?

Cunt- oh, she is living with someone else.

R.A- AWW…Well, there are a lot of programs you can try. There is a random roommate and…

Cunt- No, No, No, I’m fine. I’m probably moving off campus anyways.

After getting sympathy from the R.A, Cunt proceeded to repeatedly thank the R.A for ignoring the messy room and “passing” them.

The R.A said “Thank you M-A-W-B-V-2, see you soon.”

Cunt felt so bad about stealing an identity, she took out their trash. So Sweet.

FYI- Dick Tans.

His explanation… “I’m going to the beach in three days.”