Puppy Theory

We should have known better than to attempt a surprise party.

About three seconds too late Red ran to the lights as the Serbian Queen walked up the stairs...

Red yelled "Shit!" followed by a short pause and a half ass group, "Happy Birthday!" 

Fail.

I will no longer allow cake in 420 due to the smeared icing I scrubbed off of the Kitchen floor all morning, BUT that wasn't the only learning experience of the night.

I learned of a philosophy known as the Puppy Theory.

Polo, a BLACK...

Side note- yes, race is necessary in this story. Besides, as much as people don't like to admit it, race is somewhat important in description of a person.

For instance, My friend Baby, she's Mexican, plays basketball.

Now don't you see how important race is to a story?

Anyways, this is off topic, but while we are speaking of race, I'd like to clarify a little something.

Being Jewish is not a race.

One time in middle school I was playing basketball with a bunch of black guys. Apparently the fact that I'm a girl didn't phase them (oh, the tomboy days) but one of the guys said, "You the only white person here."
I dont remember my response, but I probably said something along the lines of, "Yes, I see that. It's not night time and I'm not colorblind... but thanks for pointing it out."

But the line I do remember was one of my best friends (my best friend would be a boy) saying "She ain't white, she's Jewish."

Classic.

Back to the story- So Polo, a black basketball player at Shepherd, enlightened me with his theory about Shepherd University white girls.

See, I actually really like Polo and although I have no urge to "Hook up with him" I can't keep my eyes off his Little Wayne dreads and cute little face.

Polo: You ever heard of the Puppy Theory?

Me: I love puppies!

Polo: Exactly... girls always sayin "puppies are so cute, your so cute, your so cute"... BUT would they fuck a puppy?

Me: Umm, no Polo... that would be disturbing and I assume require some sort of medical attention.

Polo: Exactly... that's how white girls view me. I'm the Puppy. They always sayin, "Ohh Polo is so cute, he's so cute, I could hug him up... But would they fuck Polo?

Me: Umm, no Polo... it's just not like that, you're Polo. You understand?

Polo: That's the Puppy Theory.

The funny thing is, his teammates shook their heads in agreement, like they felt sorry for Polo's big sad puppy dog eyes and sob story.

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