Duckies.

I returned to 420 and sprinted… kidding… I crawled up the stairs and in to the kitchen where I found two baby duckies awaiting my arrival.

That's them  ^

For some dumb fucking reason Red and Ducky (hence the nickname) decided to buy two ducks. Apparently Ducks are the most faithful animals behind Dogs. I’m not sure if that’s exactly true, but what I do know is they shit everywhere and I hate them.

We lost Eugene and Ping (the Ducks) somewhere in the house during dinner. Conversation was nice and… normal.

Red- Dick broke a knife yesterday… one of our sharp ones!

The rest of us- How?

Red- He tried to stab me.

Ohh…

Family dinner got interrupted by Ducky and Perpetual Jew. The two came over to pick up the kids, Eugene and Ping.

Me- I’m glad you guys are being responsible parents, now get them out of here.

Perpetual Jew had pink underwear on his head; I guess it was to make everyone aware that he is the mother away from Red. He put his hand over Ducky’s hand, looked him lovingly in the eyes and said “We can do this.”

420 really got exciting from this point on.

Dick decided to put the Ducks to use. He placed a stink bug in the middle of the kitchen and on his cue Red and Ducky let go of their prospective Duck.

Eugene won. Ewe.

I decided to go to bed on this note.

Today was great.

By great I mean miserable. The inside of my arms and the side of my ribs are bruised from the top of the crutches. Red served me dinner, I'm on the couch and I don’t plan on moving… ever again.