Stop It

NARP'S ... Are bad asses.

This whole drinking consecutive days in a row thing is making me a bit woozy.

I'm laying low tonight, choosing pounds of forgotten homework and lukewarm coffee over the booze. 

Bummer.

I do want to make it clear though, that I have all intentions of becoming that beer drinking NARP I've always hoped to be.

See, I grew up listening to my Dad telling random people smoking on the street to "Keep smoking, Bro!" Usually furthering his initial comment with something like, "You're no quitter buddy" or "Quitting is for losers."

I am no loser.

So for now I'm training. Taking it day by day- just putting in the struggle to be the best I can be.

Flashback to last night:

I started the epic journey third wheelin' it with Big Red and her lover, Shaggy. Before I knew it we were raging like true locals at Tony's (a dive bar in town for the strangers reading in)

While immaturely chugging Bud Light and demolishing bacon cheese fries, Red and I began to picture our life on the scale over the next few weeks. This was of course followed by us convincing ourselves that that wasn't going to happen and we were gonna hit the gym hard in the next week or so...

Bringing me to my topic of the day- Stuffing your face.

WHY

Are we so fat?

PRIME EXAMPLE: Ball-So-Hard (a newfound friend that we spent majority of our underclassman years shit talking) just walked in to my room with a bowl of ice cream. 

After chatting it up a bit, she took a deep breath and slurped down those last few bites- which only resulted in me wondering why she didn't just put down the fucking spoon you fat fuck.

But then I remembered that I do that daily. Don't you lie to yourself- you do it too, it's called being American.

NUMBER ONE NARP RULE and advice for the day: Stop fucking eating. 

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