College Living

College housing is all the same. 

Sure, living off campus offers a few benefits- No cardboard twin beds for one and I suppose community bathrooms is slightly disturbing at times, but overall, the similarities are overwhelming... and tacky.

Liquor bottles as decoration= So College

Yes, I had part in sloppily downing those bottles up there, but I assure you that that tequila bottle ain't mine- too broke, and I'm not sure why we feel the need to save them, we're in college... everyone knows we drink... Our soon to be NARP guts are gonna help solidify that.

So College

I'm intrigued by the thought of reading that educational novel while drinking that can of piss... I'll leave the rest up for interpretation.

Shit is always broken= So College

Duck taping the towel rod together,  Using velcro tape to hold up the shower curtain, Sinks clogged with Beer caps and tabs... Try us, name it.

Borrowed Cups= So College

 We appreciate doing business with all of you.

Couch in the Kitchen= So Fat and College. 

How often have you walked in to your house to find the living room and kitchen rearranged? Moving the furniture back is simple, unfortunately we couldn't find the channel changer for three weeks... 

Good prank, dick move.

Bandaids on doors= So Drunk

You know when you're drunk and you're going pee for the fourth time in 33 minutes, and while you're sitting on the toilet, about 17 random thoughts run through your head, and when you go to wash your hands you silently thank God that no one else heard any of that?

Yeah, me too.

Well, while peeing out 3 glasses of red wine and 2 shots of Peach Burnetts one evening, I looked up to see a "jousting" bandaid on the bathroom door ahead. 

You can only imagine the stories I proceeded to share through the rest of the evening. 

For the Poetry Lovers: www.hannahsafren.weebly.com