I joined at Planet Fitness for the month while I am here in Wilmington, NC and simply put… I hate it.
It was this one dollar deal and if I cancel before this Friday than I pay nothing more than that one dollar. I have full intentions of quitting.
They have this “No Judgment” policy, which drives me up the fucking wall.
Sure I limp around on my broken foot and struggle with those five pounders so yes, I’d like to avoid any criticism, but the problem here is not the policy, but rather the extent in which they promote the policy.
They have a “Lunk” alarm which is used in severe cases of “Lunk” …ing? Dropping weights, cockiness and shouting all apply to being a Lunk and therefore calls for the alarm.
Unfortunately, “Lunk” closely resembles the word, “lump” … maybe only to me? But every time I look at it, I think lump. I then think I’d rather see someone shouting rather than sitting and I think I’d rather see someone running rather than eating the free bagels that they offer free of charge and of course judgment every Tuesday morning.
While I’m on the topic of food and gyms, Planet Fitness (also known as PF for short) has Tootsie Rolls at the entrance and exit of the gym…
Hey fuckers FYI I’m trying to lose my Tootsi Rolls and you want me to eat them? And don’t say you don’t, because you place those juicy chocolate pieces of heaven right in front of the elliptical and after I run a mile DUH I’m gonna want the fucking chocolate…
Don’t you see that I obviously have a hard time avoiding junk food outside of the gym, I finally come to the gym to do something about it and holy Jesus Christ there it is again… like a sign from above saying “I’m commanding you to eat the chocolate.”
It gets better… Thursday night’s they have pizza night… Again, I’ll add that the pizza is both free of charge and judgment… I really shouldn’t have to expand on this, but obviously I will.
As a broke college student, guess what I’d do if I was a full time member of this place. I’d plan my Thursday nights as follows…
5pm- stretch at PF
5:10pm- eat 4 pieces of the free pizza at PF
5:21pm- leave PF
I’ll leave you with this… One small piece of Domino’s cheese pizza has 175 calories which is equivalent to 15 to 20 minutes on the Elliptical…
Here’s what I have concluded about Planet Fitness. I AM JUDGING.
Your 63 signs talking about “leaving my ego behind” and “no judging,” just makes me feel like the overweight 12 year old that never got picked for kickball teams…
I walk in
Immediately feel like I’m a loser
I work out
and then you slap me on the back with a slice of pizza and a “Hey, good work today bud, you deserve these calories back.”
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