Recap

420 spent the last 30 minutes TRYING to recap our week. We know for sure that we are out a few hundred dollars combined, the rest however is a blur... besides a few sketchy scenarios

Monday

Location: Alto's 

Event: Campus Bitch's Birthday

In celebration of Campus Bitch being 22, someone bought her a cake, then she shoved it in Red's face. We headed to Alto's for 25 cent brewskis. At midnight, the Bartender cut the music off and the entire bar sang Happy Birthday as we took shots of Patron...

That Bitch vommed all night... Sucks to be old.  

Our living room table the next morning: 

Tuesday

Location: Alto's

Event: Campus Bitch's 2nd Party

We laid around on our itchy living room couches contemplating drinking the rest of a Patron bottle. At midnight, three of the morons pulled themselves together and headed to Alto's. I was making love to my pillow when I received a phone call around 2AM PLEADING for a ride home. Boobs thanked me dearly, while Teach was in the back repeating, "How am I stilllll aliiiiive." 

Apparently Campus Bitch had snuck out earlier because she couldn't handle three people trying to buy her drinks and get in her pants with such a bad hangover headache... I mean who could?

Wednesday

Location: Soccer House

Event: Still Campus Bitch's Birthday

Some chick spent the evening searching for her boyfriend's hat because if she didn't find it, than he wouldn't give her any... oh okay.

Some dude bet some other dude 20 dollars that he couldn't pick up some chick... he lost.

Some other chick went to Sheetz and asked if the Meetballs were fried... No was obviously the answer.

Thursday

Location: 420, than Tony's, than of course Alto's

Event: Thursday night

Pretty sure the entire Baseball team was at 420. Then we made them leave so that we could attend Tony's and dance... we did. While we were there, Campus Bitch told a cheerleader (whom she was not previously friends with) to change her Twitter picture... The next day it was changed.

We followed the dance with a Sheetz run, where I proceeded to get kicked out. 

Scenario: There was a box of shit in the middle of the store, so I grabbed a mac and cheese and looked at it.

Cunt Working: Don't touch that stuff

Me: Why?

Cunt Working: Cause it ain't for sale

Me: Well there is no sign saying it isn' for sale

Cunt Working: Do you need a sign for everything?

Me: Well yes, it is a store

Cunt Working: So you need a sign for everything?

Me: Actually no... I'm a creative thinker...

Cunt Working: I'm calling the cops

Me: I don't want this anyway... bitch

Then she picked up the phone and I slowly left as an attempt to act like a bad ass... then when I was out of sight I started running in to the car

Dino was still in Sheetz backing me up by saying, "Was that necessary ma'am!?"... Then she got kicked out.

Meanwhile Teach was in there egging on that Cunt Nugget saying, "She shouldn't of touched that, huh Ma'am?"

I went to sleep... Campus Bitch and Teach were not satisfied though and headed to Alto's at 2AM. In 45 minutes, Cheesecake, Jack and Ass Kicker shots took the best of them. Campus Bitch woke up with a 49 dollar bar tab in her pocket... No big deal.

Friday:

Did. Not. Move.

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