Olympics and the Amish

Beer Olympics was a success.

Even though my Red Squad gizzed in second behind the Black Squad, it was a clean fight- only broke one picture frame and two ping pong balls. 

Didn't even know about the picture frame until I saw this:

Marilyn missing! And trust me, Dave and Muhammad are pissed.

Unfortunately, the Olympics ended one event early due to a wrestling battle between a Red member and a Green member… It was similar to two hot chicks mud wrestling- except exactly the opposite.

We headed to the bar.

Picture 32 drunk morons decked out in black, red, green and blue walking into a bar that holds no more than 50- and that’s a squeeze.

Example of Morons:

Check out those poses- Success.

I quickly realized that there was not one stable person in the near vicinity and being unintentionally bumped and grined on while attempting to carry on a conversation about Italian food is fucking annoying.

So I headed to McDonalds for a double cheeseburger with mac sauce.

Woke up the following day to 3 bottles of wine and the sun screaming, “Hi Fatass, did you know that working out and vegetables are for the Amish? Yeah, so grab a high percentage of alcohol and I will help you wrinkle your skin and liver.”

So I proceeded to do just that.

And here I am now, looking oddly similar to the red- nosed reindeer

Wondering when I got classy enough to think that drinking 6 bottles of 3 dollar wine and 2 bottles of 16 dollar wine was okay

Still confused on why the Sun told me that working out and vegetables were for the Amish

And contemplating the intentions of Boobs- she just asked me if she could apply to Grad School over her Iphone.

Goals this week:

Run- run farther than down the stairs into the kitchen.

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