The Essentials

Star Exponent Article...

My mom insists that the three essentials to running a smooth household are: enough coffee to make a strong pot, toilet paper and laundry detergent.

I agree with her … kind of.

The difference in living under my mom’s roof and living with roommates is that a house filled with five 21-year-old student-athletes needs far more than those three essentials to run smoothly.

The art of pleasing roommates, avoiding conflict and making it through each day with minimal complaining, is more of a survival instinct than a learned habit. I’ve offered five of about 155 rules necessary for a college-like living situation.

Rule One — First person awake brews the coffee — make it strong. Haven’t you heard the jingle? “The best part about waking up is Folgers in your cup!” The sound of an early morning alarm-clock can immediately take a peaceful dreamer in to a state of annoyance. A hot cup of caffeine has the ability to change a mood. Trust me, try it.

Rule Two — Do not park behind someone in the driveway. Two things will happen. Either the roommate will move your car and therefore waste five minutes at your inconvenience, or no coffee was made, so she will annoyingly awake you and ask you to move your car — it won’t be nice. There are few things worse than facing the day when you’re not ready for it — park on the curb.

Rule Three — If you eat another person’s food, replace it immediately. We are all broke college kids, so an occasional missing egg isn’t the most awful surprise, but if your last two slices of bread are gone, expect a fight. FYI — shop in bulk and buy a paper on Sunday, the coupons will save you a couple beer dollars.

Rule Four — Smile. If you’re in a bad mood go to your room. Your mood affects everyone. This especially applies for the athletes out there. In my case, the five of us are seniors and experience has shown that there is nothing worse than going through a practice when the upperclassmen aren’t happy. It typically leads to sprints and curse words. I assure you it’s just easier to smile.

Rule Five — You eat, you clean. Put your dishes in the dishwasher and offer to clean the dishrags every once and a while with your next load of laundry.

So College Advice: There’s no avoiding bickering, it happens. Respect and common sense is the best advice I can offer. Don’t let your laundry sit in the dryer for days, no stomping on the kitchen floor before 10 on the weekend, turn the TV off at night, no 3 a.m. dance parties during finals and you’re better off not talking if it even sounds like you’re about to complain. Peaceful roommates make for a peaceful home.