Gay Scouts

Quick Briefing: Today, Boy Scouts were supposed to decide whether or not openly gay boys or men should be allowed to join their organization. Decision was postponed.

Now I’m not sure Boy Scouts have any right to talk of homosexuals considering the utter gayness that sparkles off of those flimsy little patches, but they do. 

So here’s the deal, I carry on numerous conversations with myself or an imaginary being daily. Yes, I suppose this could possibly signify some sort of mental disability, but I’m on enough shit as it is and things haven’t gotten publicly weird until just now.

With that clarified, I heard and saw quite a few fantastic quotes from the day’s debate and well, I feel the need to restate their brilliance and of course share my imaginary conversation.

Picture from NYTimes: Mrs Cyr’s poster read, “Protect our Children”

Could you specify, Mrs. Cyr? I mean, I’m sure they have plenty of bug spray if you’re worried about the mosquitos on the hiking trip. 

Oh wait... 

You’re worried about the gays? Ahh... yeah, me too. It’s surprising they haven’t invented a repellent for that yet, huh? 

But hey! You know what? You shouldn’t worry. Your boys look just like you.

PBS News: “Some churches are claiming they will no longer fund their local Boy Scout chapter if the ban is lifted”

Quite the charitable act in the name of our righteous God. 

Boy Scouts of America website: “The BSA provides a program for young people that builds character, trains them in the responsibilities of participating citizenship, and develops personal fitness.”

Accurately rewritten as follows: 

“The BSA is a cult for young people that builds the type of character necessary for dodging the devilish influence of homosexuals, trains them in the responsibilities of participating citizenship (gays not allowed to participate), and develops personal fitness unlike that overweight gay man from Modern Family... He is gay, right? He has to be, his voice is.”

President Obama on CBS Interview: "My attitude is that gays and lesbians should have access and opportunities, the same way as everyone else does, in every institution and walk of life"

Valiant effort my dear president, but “gays and lesbians” is so “blacks and whites.”

“People” would be sufficient.

Thought Provoking: Jennifer Tyrrell’s son was booted from being a little baby Tiger Cub last year because she was gay... not her son. Her response to the postponed decision, “Scouts are supposed to be brave.”

Liars.

Final note: I'd like to clarify that I am indeed a fan of the values and characteristics penetrated in to these young men (inappropriate verb intended), but I'm confused on why gays can't join in on these same life lessons?

Is one's "sex life" discussed amongst the camp fire with counselors? (Awkward feeling intended) I HOPE NOT!

So stop sucking (irony intended) and let the gays join. If you're lucky they'll help with those outdated shit stained vests (stereotype intended).

For less repulsive nonsense and information on my book signings, please visit: www.HannahSafren.com