Quote of the Week

Background- One of our biggest rivals is Seton Hill. I personally don't like them because they are hardcore Jesus lovers, but also because one of their best players Jordan Burkes, is a cunt.

Assitant Coach: Burkes wears short shorts.
Spiderman: Shorter than mine?
Assistant Coach: You're like Sporty Spice, she's like Girl's Gone Wild.

DAY 2

Day 2 of tournament week was a success.

After soaking/crying from the intensely cold ice bath at 9:30 this morning, I hobbled on to the court for practice.

 No class all week= rocks

A couple hours later we piled on to the bus and headed to Charleston, WV-Home of the team we will defeat tomorrow night.

The bus ride was obnoxious. Five hours of bumpy roads combined with Dory’s forgetfulness gave me a headache and a newfound hate for Nemo… I wish he was never found.

I spent majority of the trip shoving my headphones deeper and deeper in to my ears to avoid hearing Nemo’s escape plan from the fish tank. Boyce Avenue and Pink were basically serenating my throat by the time we arrived. In the midst of rocking out, I attempted writing, but ended up scribbling out six pages of notebook paper.

The only two legible pieces of work were the following:

1.      A short poem.

Do you wanna dance with me?

Cause I’m thinkin this river path could use a little light and we could move in rhythm with the gentle river’s tide –tell me yes.

Say yes to me.

Because my heart is skipping beats and I’m beginning to think that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Don’t say no.

Don’t say no to me.

I’m only asking for today so hold my hand and we can sway to the melodies of the chirping birds and the way you say my name.

Just say yes.

2.       “Fuck You Charleston, Third Times a Charm” written in seven different artistic ways and surrounded by doodles of lucky charm cereal.

I concluded that it was a successful Tuesday of writing/drawing.

           

Once we arrived in Charleston, we headed to O’Charleys for dinner. While I ate seven bread rolls, we spoke of why each of us wanted so dearly to win a WVIAC Championship.

Me: I want to win for bragging purposes.

Captain: My sister has two rings. I want to win because I will never live it down if I don’t get another one.

Spiderman: I want to win so we can get huge, obnoxious rings.

Red: I want to win so I can put up a cool Facebook status.

Well, the good thing is we all want to win… isn’t that most important?

Winners

Tonight was a good night.

I knew it was gonna be a good night when Beaver sang the Nappy Root’s song, “It’s gonna be a good day, ain’t nobody gonna die today.”

The dying part of that line turned out to be false. Red’s sister put her arm around her after the game and asked her if she had ever seen that movie, “All Dogs go to Heaven.”

Red said No… and then found out that her Dog was put to sleep… On Friday. 

(It’s Monday for any idiots reading in.) 

Smart move on her parents part considering we needed Red to win the Big game against Fairmont. 

Here’s the details on the win…

First event that lead us to victory:

After Beaver serenated the team during shoot around, we danced in to the locker room for coaches pump up speech. She had each player read a word on the board. Each word was something we needed to bring in to the game to win. Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-1 decided to be a selfish bitch and say two words, leaving the last player, Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-2, with no word to say. 

Coach looked confused and the team quickly explained that Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-1 had said “Hard work AND Intensity.”

Coach responded, “Come on Might-As-Well-Be-Virgin-1 and 2… get on the same page.”

Yes, Coach quoted the So College Blog nicknames… nice.

Second event that lead us to victory:

Each player was announced, including non-starters (Me). The deal was, one Fairmont player was called and then a Shepherd player. The two would jog to half court to shake hands. 

A German chick ran to half court and surprise, surprise the announcer calls the only Jew (Me) to shake her hand. My ignorant teammates thought that was humorous enough to continue talking about UNTIL I told them, “Listen up you Hitler lovers, this is not the 40’s…. I am respected and equal and it’s not weird for a German and Jew to shake hands.” 

Then I got told to “Shut up Jew.”

Third event that lead us to victory:

Actually winning. Fuck you Falcons. We’re headed to Charleston tomorrow.

As I sit in my living room icing my shattered foot, eating an Oreo McFlurry and gossiping about the game with my wonderful roommates, I was fortunate enough to hear a wonderful conversation regarding the future relationship between Dick and Red. 

Background: Dick has this theory that he and Red will date, but he isn’t willing to give up on other lovers until September. 

Me: I hope life leads us to September

Dick: What did you just say?

Me: I quoted a poem I wrote.

Dick: Oh.

Red: I hope I have another boyfriend by September

Dick: I hope I don’t have herpes by September.

Oh, the future is so bright.

Sunday

Sunday’s rock.

I slept away my morning and then headed to the Shepherd Softball game around 12. Last season I announced for the Rams, but after complaints from any and every one that matters at this school, I got moved to chasing down balls. I guess my innapropriate random comments weren’t professional enough.

Let’s face it fuckers, normal is boring.

Anyways, my Dad and I have this weird theory that it’s okay to drink beer on sunny days because well, it just seems like something you should do. But with the big game tomorrow night, my responsible side chose Gatorade instead. Blah… normal.

The only part of the game worth remembering was Dino talking of her future life. “That’s just what I want to do, have babies with a Christian and then not have sex for the rest of my life.”

Gee, exciting.

 After finding a new found hate for foul balls, Dino and I headed out for another Shepherdstown adventure. Enjoy…

So College

Beating Fairmont in this game at 7:30 Monday

Peace for LYFE

Today I will grow

One day I'll change the world, but today I'll watch it

Color. Write. Paint.

SHIT

Why? Why did you just look through these pictures? I know why, I think it's because you're expecting me to provide some sort of entertainment at some point during this blog. I've been getting a lot of shit for my boring blogs the past couple days, but don't give me shit, it's my boring friends that you should be mad at.

 Make it a great Monday...